Animal Magic

a nanonovel

‘It’s not that I don’t like humans,’ said the puppy. ‘It’s just that they have this terrible tendency to anthropomorphise. Just because I have large brown eyes and a dim expression doesn’t give them the right to conclude I bestow my unconditional affection on every Tom, Dick and Harry that kicks me in the nuts. On the contrary — I’m actually a bit of a hard bastard.’

‘Tell me about it,’ said the lamb, ruminating assertively. ‘But let’s face it. Have eyelashes, will be patronised.’

‘But why can’t they just accept us as we really are?’ said the puppy. ‘Take me, for instance — a whiffy, fawning, incontinent opportunist. Love me, love my leg-tango. Now that would be true affection.’

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah,’ said a nearby midge. ‘You think you’ve got problems? My heart bleeds.’